Balloons and Bribes

I got home from work tonight around 7:30. Our FHE group meets on the lawn across from my house, so they all see me pull up and I am forced to join them. I got there just in time for the activity, water balloon tossing. It stayed in control for about 18 seconds before people were throwing them at each other. When that got old, we started looking for other targets. We decided that a mother pushing a stroller would be heartless, and that a moving target on a motor scooter would be dangerous. Then a pizza delivery car approached. Everybody had the exact same immature smile as I did, but I was the only one with the intent to actually carry out the act. Eric dared me to do it and placed the water balloon in my hand. It was rather perfect: the wind up, the release, the timing. Right in the center of the windshield, perfect. I prematurely thought that the fun was over. Then the driver slammed on the brakes and came to a skidding, screeching stop. From all the way down the street we heard the shout, "what the f*** do you think you're doing!!!" It was a deep, manly voice, but we soon realized it was a woman, a very angry woman, mid 20's. Jared was the only one who had my back, everybody else acted like they had never even met me. Before I could apologize, she and Jared were arguing about the funniness of the act. Jared was convinced that it was pretty funny, and she was vehemently adamant that it was in fact, not funny at all. She ranted about how that was her delivery car, and that she didn't appreciate the water balloon. Jared tried to point out that water was actually harmless, and would have no effect on her windshield. She was so mad that she was twitching and ready to fight. I butted in and told her that it was me that threw it and that I was apologetic. She accepted my apology but was still pissed that Jared was smiling still. By now she realized that she wasn't gonna make any headway with us, and left to deliver her pizza's. As Jared and I returned to the group, we were not greeted friendly, and I could tell that I was now a big A-hole in the eyes of many of the people in my ward. Not that I'm too worried about that though. Again, I thought that this was the end of the story, but I was false. About 15 minutes later, a Provo City Police car pulled up in front of us. I was the first to approach him, with Jared right beside me, and Eric close behind. Still, nobody had our backs. The officer asked us if we had been throwing water balloons and Jared quickly responded that we had not. Then the officer pointed out that our clothes were wet. I said, "oh, well I work at a car wash and I get wet. Hey, do you want a free car wash? I got a free car wash pass right here just for you. Can I get in trouble for that, is this bribery or something?" He said no, and said that he would like the free car wash. I said "yeah, I don't need you rollin around with a dirty squad car, all dusty, with these flashing lights covered in bugs and junk. That is a public safety issue, officer, I just can't have that. I won't allow it," and I handed him the card for a free wash. I told him where we were located and he was grateful. He almost forgot all about the water balloon incident. He said "oh yeah, were you guys throwing water balloons?" We told him that we had indeed been involved in some water balloon activities that had gotten out of hand and escalated into an unfortunate automobile-water-ballooning. He told us that they had received a call that we had almost caused an accident, and that it was dangerous. Jared said shockingly, "that does sound dangerous." We apologized for the unfortunate turn of events, and he thanked me for the free wash and went about his business. I was so "in the flow" while talking to him, that I didn't even realized that I had bribed him until after he left. And then I was even more excited. I informed all the onlookers that I had bribed him with a free car wash and he was satisfied. My fellow ward members opinion of me turned from looking down on me to looking up to me. It was a great personal victory. I can't wait for him to come into the wash tomorrow so I can share the story with my coworkers.